8/26/23

I have spent most of my life participating in athletic competition.  As the oldest son and namesake of a father who competed in three sports in high school, two in college, and taught physical education for over thirty years, one could easily surmise that athletic competition was going to play a significant role in my life. Very similar to my dad, I played three sports in high school, two in college, and chose a career in high school coaching that has lasted over thirty years. The old adage “like father, like son” certainly applies to me and my father.  I LOVE being my father’s son! We have the same name, same love for sports, and same obsession with golf. Where we differ, slightly, is our approach to competition.

Dad really loves competition. He relishes opportunities to challenge himself against others and is committed to being victorious in those competitions. In comparison, I would say that I like competition against others and the challenges that come from it, but I don’t love it. I can find joy in just participating without competing against another person. One of the great benefits of golf is that you are always playing against yourself and the golf course, whether another person is in that equation or not. Trying to better my last score or even last swing is challenging enough for me. Others, like my father, really enjoy bettering themselves against a human opponent. I think for those like my dad, the idea of competing against yourself or the golf course does not offer a tangible enough opponent or measurement. I understand their perception; there is no “winner” when you try to beat yourself or the golf course. There is no ceiling on being your best, nor is there such a thing as a perfect score in golf. In the other sports where my father and I competed, we were pushed to “beat the other guy.”  Ultimately, we were taught that the final measurement and goal of success was displayed by the numbers on a scoreboard. The late Al Davis’, former owner of the NFL’s Oakland Raiders, most famous quote was, “Just win, baby.”  That approach to competition is a big part of our culture. As a product of and participant in our culture, I have pushed myself many times in life to “just win.” As I have grown older, though, I have come to appreciate, to a far greater extent, the opportunities just to play and enjoy the gift of participating. While I can no longer play the sports of my youth, I can still play plenty of golf. I am grateful for that gift. My father is now 91 years old and can’t physically play golf any longer. He still loves the game but has had to accept the reality that he can no longer play. What I have learned from knowing his desire to want to play is that the joy and gift of “just playing” supersedes (by far) “just winning.” That gift should be embraced and not taken for granted as long as possible  

The question that might be asked is do I enjoy competing and winning? Yes, in moderation. I would say that my hope is to always give my best effort and try to win. Whether the opponent is another person, my situation, or just myself, I want to do my best. In more cases than not, I fall short of the traditional definition of victory. Certainly, like anyone, I am disappointed when I am not successful in winning. When I was younger, I would be downright morose in defeat. At this stage of my life, my approach is “ALL things in moderation.” I don’t NEED to compete or win (or even play all the time, as stated in my last submission). In fact, too serious a competition takes the fun out of golf for me. I enjoy just playing with my friends; I don’t need to beat them. It can be fun to have a little competition, but it isn’t necessary. Nowadays, I embrace and cherish the times when I can play, especially with my friends (and really miss playing with my dad), and will be grateful for those opportunities as long as God allows!!