11/8/22

As I have said before, in its simplest form, golf mirrors life.  We all wake up every day hoping for a fulfilling and joyous day, but the reality is that we’re going to have unpleasant days from time to time. Life’s challenges are part of life’s journey!

I can honestly say that I’ve never regretted a day when I was on a golf course, but I have had days on golf courses that were better than others.  On occasion, irritations like bad weather, a poorly manicured course, an obnoxious playing partner (hopefully not me), a ridiculously slow round, or just my lousy play can detract from my normal elation of just being out and enjoying the game.   Even on those aforementioned occasions, joy and bliss are still the prevailing emotions of the day. As the old golf adage goes, “A bad day on the golf course beats a good day at work.” Keeping that in mind, there have been times when I could say that golf “hurts.” When I say “hurt,” I am not talking about physical discomfort, which does happen from time to time, too, especially as we age. The “hurt’ I am referencing is felt deeper than physical pain or minor irritation. It is the pain associated with feeling disrespected, especially if the suspicion is based on perceived bigotry.

I’m guessing that most (if not all) African-American golfers, even those born after the “legal” Jim Crow era, at some point have felt indignities at or on a golf course.  However, I can only speak with certainty as to my own experiences and how I have felt. The insidious pain of bigotry is that it can still be felt even when it might not actually exist “at that moment.”  Scars from mistreatment mentally “plant that seed” and imply that a slight might be intentional, regardless of the actual intent. Some of my personal examples have been:

• Despite not being dressed like any working staff member at the course, being asked to get the bag of a fellow patron.
• On a slow play day and playing in an all-African-American foursome, constantly being hounded by a ranger for slow play while waiting, shot-to-shot, like everyone else on the course.
• As a guest at a private course, being asked if I’m a caddie.
• Watching your white friends being addressed with genuine courtesy as “sir” by staff and then being addressed by the same staff with an ambivalent, “what’s up?”
• As I am about to hit my next shot with my clearly marked ball, being accused by a white golfer from another group, who is looking for his ball, of “stealing his ball.”
• Instead of the unfortunately routine, annoying “fore” yelled by an ignorant, non-golfing passerby driving on a public road near where I am playing, the “n-word” is yelled.

Except for the last example (included because it has happened to me more than once), I can’t say beyond a shadow of a doubt that these incidences were necessarily done or said with racial enmity.  These may be just examples of unusual discourteous or unintentionally insensitive behavior. Discourteous behavior tends to be very rare in golf.  My experience is that it is quite unusual to experience bad behavior on or at a golf course.  Etiquette dictates that all are civil and courteous, even genteel, as part of the essence of the game. Generally, patrons and guests are treated with tremendous respect and courtesy. In fact, whenever I have been invited to play as a guest by friends, I cannot remember being treated in any way other than with great respect, affection, and hospitality by my host(s). Given that that type of appropriate treatment is so much a part of the game’s ambiance, when discourteous or insensitive behavior does happen, it stands out.  As an African-American golfer in this century, because inappropriate behavior in golf is so unusual, when mistreatment does occur, I am led to be suspicious based on historical precedent. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…”

These observations are from just my perspective. I assume that others can make such claims from all types of groups and perspectives. Personally, what I am saying is that as an African-American golfer, such experiences hurt me in ways that connect to an ugly past. Without question, what the early African-American golfers of the 20^th Century had to endure has gone away.  Blatant and intentional mistreatment of anyone on or at a golf course is almost never tolerated nowadays. However, that doesn’t negate feelings attached to vestiges of a past that can still hurt in ways where bliss and joy should be the only feelings experienced. Regardless, as the old church saying goes, “I am not going to let the Devil steal my joy!” I just try to let it go and take a good swing.  The hurt may not ever completely disappear, but the sting does dissipate with time and wisdom. For my general health and well-being, I am determined not to have a “bad day” on a golf course, for any reason!!